What she wanted to say
by tcatch20
Summary: This is just my take on how I wanted "Instinct" to go told from Myka and Helena's POV. I know the episode aired a long time ago and I know there are a lot of fanfics out there but I wanted to write my version of what I wanted to happen. I hope you enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Please be patient with me this is my first attempt at writing a fanfic. It's my take on the episode "Instinct" the first part is written from Myka's POV. I know the episode aired a while ago but I wanted to write my take on what I thought Myka felt. I know there are a lot of fanfics on this episode but this episode left me wanting like I'm sure it did a lot of us. Be gentle but I welcome all help and reviews, to help me improve.**

**Disclaimer: Some of the lines are from some of the songs I was listening too at the time. Adele's-Make you feel my love and Emeli Sande-My kind of love. I own nothing.**

Myka's POV

As I stand in front of her, all I wanted to do was make her feel what I felt, to tell her that I would gladly travel to the ends of the earth for her. I would die for her, I wanted so badly to blurt that out to just lay all my feelings out but I knew that she wasn't ready to hear them. I know she feels what I feel but she's not ready.

She still has things to work through but does it have to be with him. Why does he get her? He may be a good man but I'm the one she loves. Why does he get to have a part of her? I may not have the right to be jealous but I know deep down she doesn't truly love him not the way she loves me.

It took me so long to realize that what I felt for her was love deep true love. She is in every part of me heart, body and soul. I just wish she was ready to feel my kind of love.

I want her to know that when she has fallen and can't pick herself up off the ground that's when she feels my love. I want her to know that when she feels what she does is never enough, when she doesn't realize things could get this tough that's when she feels my love. I want her to know and feel that I want to be there for her, to love her, to cherish her, to have a life with her the good, the bad and everything in between.

We could have a life together a damn good life. It won't always be easy we will fight and argue but we will always find our way to each other. That is what people who were meant to be do. I know I'm not kidding myself I know she feels this, this connection we have.

Why can't she just say it? As muster up the strength to tell her things I don't believe, _to fight for him_, _to make this her home_….these words are killing me I can't breathe as I'm saying these words.

My heart breaks a little more with every word. I finally finish saying what I think she wants to hear, I hug her my chest feels like it's about to collapse, I can't say goodbye to her not again, I can't breathe. I just want to shout come with me, be with me but I can't be selfish especially if she is not ready….Ahh why can't I be selfish just this once.

We let go of each other, I hold my tears back until I get ready to leave. We say our parting words she says _maybe next time just coffee_ and I say _or save the world let's see what happens. _

She smiles I catch a glimpse of the real Helena not the one hiding, she is still in there trying to figure this out.

They have this saying if you set something free and it comes back then you knew it was meant to be. Oh how I hope this is true I don't know if I can truly let her go, she has my heart and she always will.

We drive away and I can't bring myself to look away, she doesn't either I can tell she is struggling with what she feels. I know her better than anyone else and she knows me.

I hold everything in as I lose sight of her, all I can think about is was that goodbye forever, in my head I pray more like beg to whoever is listening please don't let this be it, please help her find her way back to me...with a sigh..._Please help her come back to me_.

**I hope you liked it. I'm always nervous about putting my attempts of writing out there but like I said I welcome all help. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I wanted to write what I thought Helena's POV would be. I hope you enjoy it. I own nothing**

Helena's POV

As I watch her drive away I can't bring myself to look away or turn around. My chest feels like its caving in I can barely breathe.

I could see her struggling to say the words _fight for him, make this your home. _I could see how much it was tearing her apart.

I kept playing the words over and over in my head all I could think was did she just let me go, did she just say goodbye without saying the words? NO! I can't, I won't accept that.

She was being Myka as always, selfless, saying what she thought I wanted to hear, what I thought I needed to hear but as the words left her lips that's not what I wanted to hear at all. My chest tightens like someone is crushing it, my heart feels like it has been shattered, realizing this.

I thought what I wanted was a normal life one with Nate and Adelaide but after seeing Myka hearing her words _you're running from who you are to chase a ghost! _ I was so angry when she said those words but deep down a part of me knew she was right. I love Adelaide and I care for Nate but with Nate it's never going to be more. I don't love him, not like I love…_Myka._

I thought that I could make this my home but after seeing Myka I realize I am hiding from who I am. I can't run from my truth anymore. Myka is my home, my truth, always has been and always will be. I love her with everything I am heart, body, mind and soul.

I can't let her go…. I can't. I have to make this right, but how… oh my God how do I make this right?

I have to tell her she is all I ever wanted, it just took me a while to realize it. I have to tell her that I want to be with her and only her. That I would die for her that I would walk to the end of the earth for her that I will be there for her through the good and the bad. That I will fight for her and our future, I need her to know this.

But how do I tell her all of this after cutting her so deep. I saw the hurt in her eyes when she saw Nate and Adelaide, the words that I said to her. I could hear and feel her heart break. How could I be so blind?

Ahh…I can't swallow, I can't breathe.

I can't let her go, I just can't….not anymore.

She is my one since the moment we met…..I love her, I love Myka.

Why did I have to fight this so long, she was right there, right there in front of me. I felt the connection and I know she did. She knows me better than anyone else and I know her.

I have to fix this, I have to make this right.

I have to be with Myka…sigh..._If she will have me_.


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is a little longer. It's still Myka's POV but I wanted to include Pete in this because to me Pete helps Myka see another side of the situation. Mainly because he is on the outside looking in. I hope it does the characters justice…..I own nothing. **

Myka's POV

It's a quiet ride back all I can think about is how much my heart aches for her, I'm not sure if it ever will stop. She is all I want, think about and crave.

I could have told her how I felt but she wasn't ready. Why do things have to be so complicated between us? Why can't we just say how we feel? But that just wouldn't be us we always have to make things more complicated than they have to be.

My thoughts consume me I want her by my side, I want her with me, close to me but I'm not sure if she will come back.

That scares me more than anything. I have finally found my one and I may not get a chance to tell her or show her.

Lost in my thoughts I glance at Pete, he keeps looking at me with concern in his eyes, I haven't said a word since we left. I can tell Pete wants to ask me questions about what is bothering me, but we have been partners for so long that he knows not to push at least not yet.

I don't think I would be able to talk right now anyway because on the inside I'm a mess. My heart feel like someone put it in a blender and hit frappe.

I am doing everything I can to fight back my tears, to not fall apart.

I'm not sure what to do or where to go from here. I let the one person I love go, which is killing me. I know it was the right thing to do, it had to be…right?

* * *

We finally get to the B & B and right now all I want to do is take a shower a lay down. We get out of the car Pete stops me.

"Myka. What's up?"

"It's nothing Pete."

"Myka?"

"Pete I don't want to talk about it."

"Its HG isn't it?"

"Pete please."

"Ok fine don't talk just listen. It's not a huge secret Mykes we all know you are in love with HG like crazy, stupid in love with her well accept Artie but anyway I think we have known for a while."

I just stare at him not saying a word. All I can think is how do they know when I only just realized it myself.

Pete takes my silence as a hint to continue.

"Look Mykes I get why you did what you did by telling HG to stay but you have to know that HG is in love with you too, like cows jump over the moon in love."

I just look at Pete and roll my eyes I know he means well but it's just, I'm not use to seeing this side of him, the serious big brother side.

"Pete I'm not sure that she is, she stayed…_with him!_" I can feel the jealousy in the pit of my stomach.

"Mykes you didn't see what I saw, I could read the hurt on her face when you told her _fight for him, to make this her home._"

"Pete?"

"Look Mykes I may be a lot of things, awesome, handsome, the best partner in the world…."

"Man-child, full of himself." I cut in with a smirk.

"Hey!"

"I'm sorry Dr. Phil please continue." I laugh for the first time all day, he just smiles.

"I'm trying to be serious here."

"Ok, ok go on."

"Where was I oh yeah being awesome."

"Ugh Pete!"

"Ok, ok my point is I could see the hurt on her face. I think she wanted you to tell her how you felt. You two have been through so much that she needed to hear it."

"She thought she was happy but I think after seeing you she realized that was not the life she wanted at all. The life she wants is with you."

"Pete you don't know that, if all that were true why couldn't she just tell me how she felt?"

"I don't know Mykes, you two have never done things the easy way."

With a sigh..."No we really haven't."

"I think she was hiding trying to figure out what she wanted and she thought she found it with Adelaide and Nate but after seeing you and spending time with you again she realized what she was doing."

I cringe at his name. Why do I have to feel like this? I have no claim on her and he has done nothing wrong…..ugh but that still doesn't stop me from strongly disliking him.

"I just don't know Pete I want to believe you but...I...I just don't know anymore."

"Mykes I got a really good vibe. I think things are going to work out just give it a little time."

I smile at Pete and give him a hug.

"Thanks Pete."

"Sure what kind of big brother would I be if I didn't stick my nose in your personal business?"

I just roll my eyes "Come on let's get inside before all of this big brother advice goes to your head."

"By the way... NO CHARGE!" I just roll my eyes.

"Come on."

After talking a little with everyone I head upstairs to be alone. I need a minute to process everything that has happened and everything Pete told me.

Could he be right does Helena feel that way? Did she really need to hear how I felt about her? Maybe he is right because I needed to hear it from her as well.

Why couldn't we do things the easy way and just tell each other how we feel? We wouldn't be Bering and Wells if we did.

As I lay down getting ready for bed my thoughts drift again to what Pete said "_I've got a good vibe about this just give it a little time_."

Could he be right, I really want him to be right, I am desperate for him to be right. I have been partners with him long enough to trust his vibes.

Ahh...I really need him to be right about this.

As I drift off to sleep..._Please let him be right about this..._with a sigh_...Please_.

**Any advice you may have I welcome. I hope you enjoy it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**With this chapter it's still Helena's POV but I wanted to include her explanation to Nate at least my take on how I thought it would go. I hope I did it justice, I went back and forth on how I wanted this to play out between the two of them. I didn't have Helena explain the truth about the warehouse to Nate because he's not her one, even though Myka already knows about the warehouse. I hope this chapter works.**

**I promise I'm not trying to drag this out there were just so many things I didn't like about "Instinct" that I wanted to write my version of it. The one thing I did like was Joanne and Jaime. I thought they did an amazing job as always…..I own nothing. All mistakes are mine.**

Helena's POV

I walk back towards the house, trying to prepare myself for the conversation that I have to have with Nate. He has to know where we stand and as much as I love Adelaide it's not fair to him for me to stay. I'm not sure what to expect and to be perfectly honest I'm not sure what to say.

Nate is going to have questions but I'm not sure I will be able to give him the answers.

I take a deep breath and walk inside.

Nate has already put Adelaide to bed. I look at him I can see the hurt and confusion on his face. I think to myself here we go but this conversation has to happen.

We sit in silence for a moment waiting for the other to start.

"Who are you? Who were those agents?" Nate finally says.

I take a deep breath. "My real name is Helena Wells and I used to work for the secret service. We...they are a specialized unit that investigates strange and unusual curiosities. Those agents were Agent Lattimer and Agent Bering."

"What do you mean strange and unusual curiosities?"

"What you experienced today is part of what we...they do. I'm afraid the rest is top secret information that I am not allowed to discuss even though I no longer work for them."

"So you can't tell me anything else."

"After my daughter was kidnapped for one of you're so called...curiosities?" I can hear the anger in his voice.

"No I'm afraid I can't."

"You can't or you WON'T!"

"Both. Nate I know you want answers and deserve them but... " he cuts in

"BUT WHAT!"

"Nate I know your angry but I need you to listen to me please." He just looks at me I can see on his face he knows where this conversation is going or isn't going. He's knows he's not going to get the answers he wants.

"There are things about my past that I can't tell you because of the danger it could bring and I WON'T put your lives in danger again."

"So is there anything that you can tell me or have told me about your life that's TRUE? I know your name is not Emily Lake but did you really have a daughter that died?"

My anger starts to get the best of me but I keep reminding myself that he is hurt and has every right to be angry with me. As I take another deep breath.

"Yes. My daughter, my Christina was killed. That part is very true."

As I hold back my anger and tears. He looks away not wanting to make eye contact.

We sit in silence for a moment as I wait to see if he has any questions before I continue he finally looks at me and nods.

"I am so sorry for everything that has happened today, I never meant for my old life to cross paths with this life."

"I'm sorry that I lied to you and allowed this to go on for so long. You and Adelaide deserve more."

"But?" He cuts in.

"But what?"

"I can hear a but coming Em...I mean Helena."

"Please understand Nate that I am grateful for everything you have done for me, allowed me into your life, your home and into Adelaide's life. I can't thank you enough for that. It means more to me than you will ever know."

"I need you to know that I love Adelaide and I would never want anything to happen to her or you."

"But…I need to be honest with you and myself. I care for you but I'm afraid I can't give you what you want and deserve."

"Why do you say that?"

"There will always be parts of my life I can't tell you and because...my heart belongs to someone else."

His eyes are now focused on me I can see the anger, frustration and jealousy building.

"Who? One of the agents?"

"Yes"

"Truth be told my heart was never truly mine to give. It has belonged to her ever since the moment we met. It just took all of this to happen for me to realize what I was really doing."

"What exactly are you doing?"

"Hiding."

"Hiding? Her? You mean Agent Bering?"

"Yes her, Agent Bering and yes hiding."

"I am hiding from my truth, from who I am."

"And who are you?"

He tries again to get more answers.

"Nate!"

He throws his hands up in frustration "Yes, yes Helena Wells, former secret service, top secret...ugh"

"Please understand if I could tell you more to ease your mind I would, you deserve that much but I can't. I'm sorry."

"I owe it to you and to myself to be as honest as possible, this life is not who I am. As much as I may have wanted it to be at the time, the events that transpired today have made me realize that I was trying to be something I'm not."

"I am truly sorry for everything. I never meant for any of this to happen, I was happy here but I'm afraid deep down I knew it just wasn't enough. As much as I love Adelaide and care for you something was always missing."

"Care! You never loved me did you?"

I look down with a sigh...

"No...Not the way I love My...Agent Bering. I'm sorry Nate."

"My heart has always been hers and I should have realized it sooner. I never meant to hurt you, mislead you or cause you any pain."

Nate just sits there I can see the hurt and anger all over his face but I can also see that deep down he knows I'm right, there was something missing.

We were both looking for something in each other that we found as a temporary fix. It was an escape for both of us. In a way we were using each other to hide. He was hiding from his grief over his wife and Adelaide losing her mother.

Me losing Christina and running from the Warehouse. I never truly had the chance to grieve, I was so focused on trying to fix what happened that I never gave myself a chance to truly process. I blamed the Warehouse for that, for everything.

"What now?" Nate asks.

"I'm not sure...I think it would be best that I leave."

"I know it late but if it's alright with you I would like the chance to say goodbye to Adelaide."

He stands there for a moment wondering if he should agree after everything that has happened.

"I guess that's fine. You can come by in the morning." He forces out

"You know she is going to be heartbroken?"

"As will I."

He nods and heads upstairs.

* * *

I gather my things and head out to find a near by hotel. I finally check in and settle in to my room. I lay down on the bed trying to replay everything that has happened today.

I know I hurt him and I never meant to but I would only be lying to him and myself if I let this continue. I never should have let it get this far, if I could have just figured this out sooner no one would have been hurt by my cowardice, not Nate, not Adelaide and not Myka.

Myka! How am I going to make this right with Myka? After all this I can't lose her not now, not ever. She is my heart I have to make this right.

She is all I want, she is my future, the life I truly want. Losing her is not an option.

I will fight for us, for our future if she will give me that chance...sigh..._please let her give me that chance_.

**I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for reading it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I had a little trouble with this chapter so let me go ahead and apologize. I wanted to include Helena and Adelaide's goodbye in this. I thought Adelaide could be Helena's mini version of Pete with her insight. I hope you enjoy it. All mistakes are mine...I own nothing. **

**Any comment or suggestion you may have a I would love to hear them. thank you for reading. **

Helena's POV

I woke up early this morning with a plan. I wanted to call Nate to make sure it was still alright for me to come by so that I could say goodbye to Adelaide.

Then I am going to make my way towards Univille, towards Myka. Just that thought alone makes me anxious but I have to, no matter what happens Myka has to know how I feel.

I place my call to Nate, we talk for a few minutes and I head towards his house. Even though the conversation was short I can still hear the hurt and anger in his voice and I can't blame him for it.

I pull up to Nate's and Adelaide is standing outside waiting for me. I can see her smile but I can also see how upset she is.

I never meant for any of this to happen but I'm not sorry that I met Adelaide and Nate. I love Adelaide and if it wasn't for me meeting Nate I would have never realized my true feelings for Myka.

I am sorry and I regret the pain I caused but I will not regret meeting them.

I get out of the car and Adelaide runs over giving me a hug.

"Hello. Sweet girl." She smiles

"Hey…Helena."

"I know your father probably told to why I'm here" her faces falls

"Yes, you're leaving."

"Yes...I'm afraid it's for the best." Tears start to fall down her face, I bend down again pulling her into another hug.

"Adelaide I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you or your father." She looks at me with tears running down her face.

"I know." It comes out in a whisper

"Adelaide...I know you have some questions, but before you ask I need you to know that there are things that I can't tell you." She looks up

"Why?"

I take a deep breath

"Because of the trouble it could bring to you and your father. Do you understand?"

"Yes." She pauses for a minute

"Why do you have to leave? Is it because of what happened yesterday?"

"Yes part of it is because of what happened yesterday and as much as I love you I will not put you or your father in danger again."

She stares off in the distance for a moment processing what I said, I can tell she is trying to decide what to ask next. She takes a deep breath and continues.

"You said part of it. What's the other reason?"

I stand frozen for a moment trying to figure out how to answer this, do I tell her my other reason is Myka. I don't want to lie to her but I'm not sure I should tell her either. As if reading my mind Adelaide asks

"Is...is it because of Agent Bering?"

I stare at her for a minute a little surprised at the question.

"Why are you asking about Agent Bering?"

She just looks up at me with a smirk. I know that look she use to get that look when I would teach her something new on how to read people.

"Adelaide?"

"Well because...because I saw the way you two were around each other, from the moment she showed up. Everything changed...everything."

Her face falls again, I can hear the pain in her voice and my heart breaks because I caused this. She is looking at the ground but decides to continue, looking back up at me she starts again.

"I know I'm young but even I know when two people seem to have a connection."

"Do you remember the puzzles we use to do together?"

I just look at her with a smile and nod.

"Well when you and Agent Bering were around each other it was like the pieces of a puzzle just fell into place. Like you just fit."

I feel my mouth fall open. I knew she was an exceptional young girl but for her to take notice of things like that, that is extraordinary. Still lost in my thoughts Adelaide starts again.

"Do you love Agent Bering?"

My stomach drops again, my anxiety and fear start to take over.

As I think to myself I know what I feel but I have never said it out loud and now I am being asked point blank how I feel by an 11 year old, granted a truly exceptional 11 year old but an 11 year old none the less.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because...I think she loves you."

"Oh."

I take a deep breath to calm myself.

"Yes Adelaide I love Agent Bering."

"Does she know?"

"No...I'm afraid she doesn't."

"You should tell her, she deserves to know."

I look at Adelaide with nothing but pride I am standing in front of this amazing young girl who is wise beyond her years. She seems to grasp things that I have only just now realized. She understand matters of the heart far better than myself.

I smile. "I plan to tell her, I just hope it's not too late."

She just smiles back at me with tears in her eyes.

"Will I see you again?"

"I truly hope so."

"Adelaide would you be ok with us keeping in touch?"

She smiles and give me a huge hug.

"Of course I would like that."

"I will miss you Adelaide."

"I will miss you too."

I give her one last hug before I go.

Adelaide heads back in the house but stops and turns to look at me she gives me a little smile and waves goodbye.

My heart stops as the tears start to fall down my face, she is an exceptional girl.

I step back into the car, as I sit there I try to pull myself together. Now for the moment of truth.

It's time to go after the life I truly want.

It's time to make things right with Myka..._If I can_.

As I still sit trying to figure out what I to say. I take a deep breath and place my call. The phone is ringing my heart is in my throat, my stomach has hit the floor for the 100th time today. I keep thinking over and over, _please answer, please answer_, _please answer..._

"Hello"

"Myka, it's….."

"Helena" she finishes


	6. Chapter 6

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. It starts off with the phone call between Myka and Helena, I apologize if the first part is a little confusing on who is talking at the time. If it is please let me know and I will try to make it a little easier to read. All mistakes are mine. **

**I own nothing.**

"Hello"

"Myka it's me…."

"Helena"

"Hello darling."

Wh...Why are you calling? Is everything ok? Are you ok?

I can hear the panic in her voice that beautiful, lovely voice.

"Yes, yes Myka everything is fine I promise."

"Th...then why are you calling?"

"Myka can we...can we meet somewhere?"

I can feel my chest tighten waiting for her to answer, my mind racing a mile a minute.

"Uh...sure. Why?"

I can hear the hesitation in her voice

"Because I think we need to talk, the way we left things yesterday I...I just...I need to see you please Myka." As my voice fades

"Of course Helena" My heart almost breaks hearing the strain in Helena's voice

"Where are you?"

"I'm...I'm about to drive to you"

"Oh...Uh...ok. Where do you want to meet?"

Oh my God Helena is coming here, is this is it, is this my chance to tell her how I feel? My heart is pounding like a frackin' base drum at a concert but at the same time I feel anxiety and excitement all at once. This is what I have been waiting for, my chance to tell Helena how I feel.

"I'm not sure darling remember I'm coming to you, you choose the meeting place."

Breaking me from my thoughts.

"Myka, darling are you still there?"

I can hear the nervousness in her voice.

"Oh yeah Helena...I'm sorry I'm still here"

I could hear a sign of relief through the phone.

"So where do you want to meet?" she asks again

"How about that park just outside of town. How far away are you?"

"The drive will just be a couple of hours."

"Ok so...do you want to meet right when you get into town or do want some time to settle in?"

"No, no when I get in is good" I felt that was perfect because I didn't want to waste any more time this talk between Myka and myself has been long overdue since the moment we met.

"Ok...that sounds great. I guess I will see you in a couple of hours."

"Ok I will call or text you when I arrive in town."

"See you soon Helena."

"See you soon darling."

* * *

Myka's POV

After we hang up I start to pace in my room. There are million things running through my mind. What do I do, where do I start, what if she doesn't want to hear what I have to say?

There's a knock at the door collecting myself I finally say with a semi steady voice

"Come in"

"Hey Mykes I was about to head down stairs for..." Pete notices me pacing and the panic on my face

"Mykes what's up, the only time you get like this is if you just talk to your parents or you just talk to...HG."

I stop pacing and stare.

"Whoa! You talk to HG?"

"Yes"

"Well what did she say?"

"She wants to talk to me."

"When?"

"In a couple of hours."

"Couple of hours? Wait, where is she?"

"On her way here."

"Hey, Hey, Hey that's great Mykes now you can tell her."

I stop pacing and sit at the end of my bed. I am so nervous that I think of a million reasons why I shouldn't say anything, that I almost talk myself out of meeting with her all together.

"I don't know Pete...I...just" My voice trail off

"Hey Mykes listen to me. It's gonna be ok"

"Is it. How do you know that?"

"Because Mykes I'm awesome that's why."

He looks at me like I'm supposed to already know this. I just roll my eyes and punch him the arm.

"Ouch! Hey! I'm helping here."

I just shake my head a laugh.

"Look Mykes I know you and you're sitting here thinking of all sorts of reasons why you shouldn't meet with her and you know you can't find one"

"I know but what..."

"No! No buts, no what ifs. The thing is you can think of all the reasons not to meet with her but none of those reasons matter."

"There is only one reason that you should focus on and it's why you should."

"And what's that reason?"

"You're in love with her and she needs to know that. That is the only reason that matters."

I sit there just staring at the floor while he talks I know he's right I'm just scared.

"Mykes I think it's time you and HG stop hiding from your feelings for each other and just lay everything out there."

"What if we do this and it doesn't work?"

Pete just shakes his head.

"Well if it doesn't work then at least you will know, at least you will have taken that chance, instead of living with the regret that you never tried."

"I'm scared Pete."

He looks at me with a soft smile, he puts his arm around me to give me a reassuring hug.

"I know you are. When it comes to the heart we are all scared, that can be our most vulnerable moment. To share what's in our heart."

I look at him with a smile, he really is a great guy and a great substitute big brother.

"When did you get so smart with matters of the heart?"

He looks at me and shrugs

"Come on Mykes I did tell you I was awesome didn't I, plus I am AMAZING with the ladies in all ways, if you know what I mean."

"Ugh...And we are back to the man-child."

He just laughs

"Come on Mykes let's get you ready for your lady."

"Pete! She's not my lady."

He starts heading towards the door, just before he closes it

"Not yet but you got me and my Pete swag, so she will be"

"Pete!"

He laughs and closes the door. I just shake my head.

I start to think about what I'm going to say and how I'm going to say it. There is so much that needs to be said and I'm just not sure where to start. I guess I will just have to see how it goes.

All I know is that Pete's right...Ahh...never thought I would say those words in the same sentence _Pete's right_. When did he become the grown up. I laugh to myself.

All I know is that no matter what happens its time Helena knows how I feel.

**Thank you for reading. Any comments or suggestion you may have please feel free to share them I welcome all of them. **


	7. Chapter 7

**This is told a little more from Myka's POV, I felt I related a little better to how she was feeling. I hope this chapter works, I hope it didn't feel rushed. Thank you for reading. All mistakes are mine. **

**I own nothing.**

I continue to pace still trying to sort out what to say when we meet. I tried to read to calm my nerves but I couldn't focus all I think about is Helena. So caught up in my thoughts I jump about 10ft in the air when my phone goes off it's a text from Helena _I'm at the park_. My heart drops here we go it's now or never. I text back _I'm on my way_. I head down stairs and Pete's in the kitchen as usual he just gives me a reassuring smile.

I get in my car I'm only a few minutes away from the park. As I pull up I see Helena standing there pacing just as much as I was earlier. I get out and take a deep a breath, I think to myself _come on Myka_ _you can do this, you have to do this._

* * *

"Hey"

"Hi"

It's awkward at first neither one of us know how to act but we manage to find our way to a park bench close by. We sit in silence for a moment when Helena starts.

"Myka, I feel I need to explain some things to you."

I just look at her I can tell she is just as nervous and anxious as I am.

"Ok"

"Myka, I'm sorry I didn't contact you during these last six months. I just needed some time away from the warehouse, I needed to figure some things out."

"I wanted to call you so many times just to hear your voice but I...wasn't ready. So I continued to stay away finding things to take my mind off the warehouse off...you."

"Me, Helena do you know that all I wanted was to hear from you just once to know that you were ok, that you were safe. But you never called so I didn't know if you were hurt, in danger or something worse and that scared the hell out of me"

She shakes her head in shame.

"I know Myka I am so sorry. It's just...it's just...I felt lost and I needed to figure out what I wanted and where I belong."

"And you decided that was with Nate?" I say through gritted teeth.

I can feel my jealousy and anger taking over I have to stop, I need to allow her to explain. As much as I dislike this man I need to give her a chance.

She takes a deep breath, I can see on her face she knows I am struggling with the Nate and Adelaide situation.

"Myka, I thought that was the life I wanted. I grew to love Adelaide and I cared for Nate, but it never felt right. Something was missing."

"And now?"

"Myka I need you to know that the only reason I stayed was because you asked me too but when you told me _to make this my home, _it felt like you were letting me go, like I would never see you again and I realized..." her voice fades off

"You realized what?"

She looks at me as tears start to fall down her face. She takes a deep breath

"I realized that...I want you, I want to be with you. I have loved you from the moment we met. In all of my years I have never felt such a deep connection with anyone."

"You are in every part of me, heart, body, mind and soul. You have my heart Myka, it has always been yours...Always"

"You are the life I want, the future I want. I love you Myka...I'm IN love with you"

I pause for a minute to process what Helena just told me and I take a deep breath and try to collect myself.

"Helena."

"What is it, darling?"

"I have a confession to make."

"When I told you _to make this your home_ with..._sigh..._...Nate. I only said those things because I thought that was what you needed to hear. To be honest I didn't mean any of it. I knew that was not who you were but I wanted you to be happy and if that was where you were happy I was not going to stand in the way no matter how much it killed me. I wanted you to come with us...with me."

"It was hard not to tell you how I really felt."

"How do you feel?"

I can tell she needs to hear this so I push all my worries and fears to the side it's time that she knows the truth.

"I feel...Helena I'm in love with you too. You are my ONE."

"There is a connection between us that runs deeper than anything I have ever felt in my life. You are all I think about, you are all I want. I love you with every part of my soul. I love you so much Helena that is scares me."

She looks at me with a reassuring smile that melts my heart.

"It scares me too Myka, I have never in my 147 years loved someone as deep as I love you."

I reach out to touch her face, she leans into the touch as her eyes slowly close and then open. We stare at each other, in that moment I realize that there is no one else in this world that I will love or want more than this beautiful, intelligent, remarkable women in front of me.

I find my courage and I lean in to kiss her. It's a soft gentle kiss at first but soon our passion takes over. It's as if we are trying to make up for the last 3 years in that one kiss.

We pull back a little from each other to catch our breath, we lean our foreheads together.

"I love you, Helena. You have had my heart from the beginning, it is yours for as long as you want."

She smiles "I love you too, Myka. How does forever sound? Wells and Bering."

"Forever sounds good. Bering and Wells." I smile

"Forever sounds really good."

I lean in to kiss her again, this is how it's supposed to be and will be forever Bering and Wells. Solving puzzles saving the day.

**Thank you for reading my first fanfic. I hope I did the story and characters justice. This was just my version of how I thought "Instinct" should have gone. I hope you enjoyed it. **


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